Listen, I love a good spooky season just as much as the next person, but if I’m being honest, I’m not sure I’m cut out for haunted houses anymore. Haunted houses when I was a kid feel like watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse compared to what Haunted Houses are now.
There was a time when I could stroll through a haunted house, laughing at my friends and mocking the guys in the creepy masks. Now? I’m more likely to scream at a sudden gust of wind and pull a muscle running for the exit.
That being said, if you’ve got the courage I clearly don’t, Central Ohio has some haunted houses that are sure to make you reach out to your doctor and ask for some high blood pressure medication.
Or hopefully someone’s passing some out for me this Halloween.
Whether you’re looking for something family-friendly or an all-out, scream-until-you-lose-your-voice experience, here are the best haunted houses in the area to check out this fall. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.
1. Fear Columbus
If you’re looking for an over-the-top, Hollywood-worthy experience that’ll make you rethink your life choices, Fear Columbus is the place to be. This locally-owned production features multiple immersive attractions under one roof. We’re talking a twisted carnival with creepy clowns hunting you down (no thanks, I’ll pass) and a funeral director who—because things weren’t already terrifying enough—dabbles in dark magic. Brand new for 2024, these attractions blend elaborate costumes, makeup, and movie-quality set design that will leave you wondering what’s real and what’s just your imagination… if you’re brave enough to make it through, that is.
2. Carnage Haunted House
Let’s be real, nothing says “I’m definitely in over my head” like wandering into a haunted swamp. At Carnage Haunted House, you’ll get to face The Bayou, where a voodoo priestess placed a curse that’ll make you question why you decided to leave your house in the first place. If bayous aren’t scary enough, head into The Entity, an abandoned hospital overtaken by dark forces and mysterious hair-creatures (because that’s not horrifying at all). Honestly, this is probably where I’d nudge my braver friends forward while I “check for parking.”
3. Haunted Hoochie
If you’re the type of person who thinks regular haunted houses are for wimps, Haunted Hoochie is your next stop. These guys don’t hold back, with a self-described “full sensory assault” experience that’ll have you wishing you’d stayed home watching Netflix. And if you’re one of those people who doesn’t want to be touched? Yeah, this might not be the place for you. With simulated demon births and in-your-face horror performances, Haunted Hoochie will make you question whether you’ve stepped into a nightmare or just another Friday night in Ohio.
Pro tip: Apparently they’ve had instances of fright-seekers bringing their kids/infants to Haunted Hoochie… absolutely don’t do that (unless you don’t mind paying for years and years of therapy for your poor child).
4. Pataskala Haunted Forest
If you prefer your frights with a side of philanthropy, Pataskala Haunted Forest is the place to be. This outdoor haunt has been giving folks nightmares for over 30 years, all while supporting local causes. You’ll be trekking through the woods for 30-45 minutes, which sounds like juuuuust enough time for me to completely regret my decision. As you navigate the Murdock family’s cursed land, you might start to wonder if that sound was just the wind, me breaking wind out of fear, or something way more sinister.
5. The Blood Prison at the Ohio State Reformatory
It’s one thing to walk through a haunted house, and it’s a whole other level of terrifying when that haunted house is inside a prison. And not just any prison—the Ohio State Reformatory, aka the real-life set of The Shawshank Redemption. At Blood Prison, you’ll face ghostly wardens, twisted inmates, and guards who’ve long since left this world. If I’m honest, I’d probably make it to the entrance and chicken out (because ghost prisoners are not those I choose to fraternize with). You can find me pulling an Andy Dufresne and crawling out the sewer pipes to escape these frights, but for those of you braver than me, this is the ultimate spooky experience.
6. Dark Harvest Productions
Sure, during the day it’s all “Pick your own pumpkins,” happy-go-lucky at Dark Harvest Productions, but when night falls, the monsters come out, and suddenly those pumpkins don’t feel so wholesome anymore. Hop on the Harvester Ride, a mile-long wagon ride through the haunted woods, or brave Strawman’s Stalk, a massive corn maze where every rustling leaf feels like it’s out to get you. With cursed trees and spooky spirits roaming the farm, this haunted attraction is for those who think they’ve seen it all and are ready to be proven wrong.
7. Brimstone Haunt
If you’ve got a thing for haunted hayrides (couldn’t be me), Brimstone Haunt is where it’s at. The haunted hayride takes you through fields cursed with stories too horrifying to repeat. Then there’s The Bog, a terrifying legend resurrected from Brimstone’s past, and let’s just say if vines start creeping toward you, it’s not just for show. Finally, the Psychosis maze is like walking into a living nightmare, where finding your way out might be the least of your worries. If you somehow make it through all that, maybe treat yourself to the zombie paintball experience. It’s therapeutic, in a scream-your-head-off sort of way.
8. Mohican Haunted Schoolhouse
What’s scarier than walking into an abandoned schoolhouse, aside from having to relive those awful dreams where you forgot to study for an exam? Doing it when that schoolhouse is haunted, obviously. Mohican Haunted Schoolhouse takes you on a spine-chilling tour through its three floors (yes, three) packed with ghouls, mad scientists, and slightly too-real art exhibits made from—wait, are those missing patrons? Built in 1924, this schoolhouse has seen its fair share of rumors and ghostly sightings. If that doesn’t send a chill down your spine, I’m not sure what will.
Final Thoughts (aka, Why You Won’t See Me at These Haunted Houses)
While I’m over here planning to spend my Halloween watching spooky movies with the lights on, I commend those of you who have the guts to tackle these terrifying attractions. Just don’t be surprised if you come out on the other side a little worse for wear.
Good luck…you’re gonna need it.
Did we miss one? Did one of these places close? Send us a note!
