Between late-night tokes and the occasional “Baked Matinee on a Saturday” (still waiting for our trademark to go through), Columbus is stacked with excellent stoner foods.
But when you’re in the clouds, the last thing you want to do is search endlessly for something to scratch the itch.
Now, let me be clear: you do NOT have to be a stoner (or even under the influence) to appreciate these spots. These foods are mind-blowingly delicious no matter what state of mind you’re in, but thanks to their epic portion sizes and insane flavor combinations, they hold a special place in the hearts of anyone who’s ever found themselves in need of a serious post-smoke feast.
And even though I’ve gracefully receded from my college glory days of smoking (that’s not the only thing that’s receded à la my hairline), these spots are still my go-tos.
But hey, being a little saucy never hurts, right?
Best Stoner Foods in Columbus, Ohio
Crunchwerks
2210 Summit St, Columbus, OH 43201
Literally a spawn from the ultimate stoner fast food joint Taco Bell (emphasis on fast food joint), Crunchwerks takes Taco Bell’s Crunchwrap idea and makes it bigger, crunchier, juicier, and, simply put, way better. Picture this: your choice of protein, cheese, queso, lettuce, pico de gallo, a hard shell taco, and sour cream, all wrapped in a tortilla. Crunchwerks’ crunchwraps are on another level. With several options to customize your wrap, you’ll be falling in love bite after bite.
Pierogi Mountain
105 N Grant Ave, Columbus, OH 43215
Pierogis are the underrated MVP of stoner foods. Butter, cheese, potatoes… need I say more? The classic potato and cheddar pierogi at Pierogi Mountain is made with Ohio’s own Randle’s cheddar, cream cheese, and a dash of smoked paprika. But if you’re feeling more adventurous, try the Samosa pierogi, seasoned with garam masala and filled with pea and carrot whipped potatoes, all topped with a cilantro-mint chutney instead of sour cream. Pro tip: go on a Tuesday when all pierogi are just $1.50 each… just make sure you’ve got a DD if you’ve been indulging in greenery.
PJs Grille
15 Frambes Ave, Columbus, OH 43201
An Ohio State stoner staple, I’ve eaten at PJs more times than I care to confess to my cardiologist. If you can get past the politically incorrect names, you’ll be well on your way to stoner heaven (or maybe real heaven depending on the state of your arteries). With sandwiches like the Fat Bitch (Buffalo chicken tenders, beer fries, mac and cheese wedges, mozzarella sticks, and ranch on a hoagie roll) or the Fat Fatty (grilled ham, cheesesteak, salami, bacon, mozzarella sticks, mac and cheese wedges, fried ravioli, and a generous drizzle of high sauce), these aren’t for the faint of heart.
AnA Shawarma
2864 N High St, Columbus, OH 43202
I didn’t discover the magic of Halal food until I lived in New York, but AnA Shawarma in Columbus delivers it like no other. The owner is a gem, but his mix shawarma platter (with lamb, chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, and rice, all drenched in their signature sauces) is even more of a gem, and their late night hours are a godsend. They’ve also got a killer chopped cheese, wings, and a burger that is impossibly cheesy and delicious. Just writing this makes the stoner inside me want to fire up an order.
Tai’s Asian Bistro
1285 W Lane Ave, Columbus, OH 43221
For massive portions that hit every craving imaginable, Tai’s Asian Bistro has you covered. This Asian fusion spot serves up everything from sushi to Pho to Pad Thai, and no matter what you get, it’s going to be enough for three meals. My go-tos? The shrimp Pad Thai and Singapore Noodles. Just make sure you’re ready to be stuffed, because Tai’s doesn’t do small portions. It’s like they want you to bring home leftovers.
Los Guachos Taqueria
Los Guachos Taqueria is a taco lover’s dream come true, especially with their BOGO Tacos Al Pastor for just $2.50 each on Mondays. Whether you’re stuffing your face with tacos, burritos, or tortas, Los Guachos never misses. They have daily specials most days of the week, so no matter when the munchies hit, they’ve got your back with some of the best tacos in Columbus.
Mikey’s Late Night Slice
A list like this has no business existing if Mikey’s Late Night Slice isn’t a part of it. As one of the original purveyors of ultra late night greasy grub, those huge Mikey’s slices just hit different after a few drinks and tokes. Plus, there are new locations popping up all over Central Ohio and beyond, so it’s easily the most accessible option on this list. Most of their locations are open until 2:30 AM nightly, so your late night hunger has finally met its match.
So, Where We Droppin’?
Whether you’re reminiscing about late-night cravings or just in the mood for epic comfort food, these spots are guaranteed to satisfy your inner stoner. So grab a friend (or a munchie-driven appetite) and dive in!
Did we miss one? Did one of these places close? Send us a note!
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